I guess I should have read my original post before replying. I didn't realize I'd come so close to making it work before writing the original post.
Anyway, the real shit in all of this is that I have no clue what the hell I did to fix this:
> Once I install the MythTV package, if I reboot the Pi, it fails to get into the GUI.
I know I did something to make it so that I could reboot the piece of shit and it would boot a second time, I just don't remember what the hell it was. Maybe I downloaded an older version of MythTV and it didn't cause that problem?
Urgh! I need to stop thinking about that piece of shit. It just makes me so pissed.